Shaman Squarepants
by StupidSequel
Summary: Yoh needs to help Rio get to his job interview at Kentucky Kingdom, and Mr. Krabs wants to destroy the economy for some unspecified reason. Anna hosts an all-girl slumber party. Horohoro is the hero of this story. Also, massive fourth wall breakage.


**Shaman Squarepants**

(The most hilarious Shaman King/Spongebob crossover story. It is unfaithful to canon in so many ways. It is so funny, it is dangerous to read while eating or drinking, so please do not do that while reading. In fact, it is dangerous to think about something funny from this story because you might choke, so do not read this story if you ever plan to eat or drink again)

Prologue: Rio and Horohoro were in Calculus class together, freshman year of high school. They were about to have a test. Yoh was a high school junior. The year was 1999.

"Hey, Rio, let's make a bet. Whoever gets the lower score will lose his skin, and the one to get the higher score will get a laptop with Windows Vista!" Horohoro said smugly. Rio agreed to this bet. They were working hard on their tests, eager to get every problem correct. _If he knew just how good I am at math, he would back out for sure! _Lenny thought. He had an A+ in this class so far.

50 minutes later it was time to turn in the tests. Rio's heart was thumping around like a caged animal trying to escape. _Please let me be the winner of this bet, _thought Rio. He was suddenly lacking in confidence when he saw a smirk on Horohoro's face. _I need this job at Kentucky Kingdom, and a skeleton would have a hard time working at an amusement park._

Actual Story: Yoh's sister, Anna, was calling all her friends.

"Hey, do you wanna come to my all-girl slumber party? It's gonna be so exciting! We're, like, gonna get drunk and shiz, and listen to rap music and watch movies. Oh my gosh, it's gonna be so exciting!" Yoh was not amused. Why should he have to miss out on this slumber party just because of his gender? That's like what Hitler did with the Jews and gypsies, right? He was glad that they never ended up getting married. Last year they were about to elope when they suddenly remembered that they were in fact siblings. They just randomly forgot, and they fell in love after forgetting they were siblings. The trail of puke leading out of the wedding chapel suggested that they did not take that epiphany well.

Yoh received an emergency text from his good friend Rio. It said that he needed a new pelt. Yoh was confused. He was confused no more when he drove his hybrid jalopy to Rio's house. He was sitting on the porch, just a skeleton with his insides and blood duct-taped together to stay alive.

"What happened?" Yoh asked in a sharp tone.

"Me and Horohoro made a bet to see who would get a better score on our Calculus exams. He got a perfect score, and I got an 87%. The loser of the bet had to take off all his skin, and I bet he's enjoying his new Windows Vista computer right now," Rio said grimly. "Luckily, I stole his math book, so he won't be able to study anymore!" He doused the Calculus book in gasoline, lit a match, and threw it on the book. It did not burn at all. That was while the lit match was falling. After it hit, that was when it burned. He thought he saw a spirit rise out of the Calculus book.

"I should have known I did not stand a chance against him. The guy never got under a 100% in any math classes, ever, in his whole life. I think he might be what you call a savant autistic." Rio cried. "My job interview at Kentucky Kingdom is coming up, and I need a pelt for that. Will you find me a new pelt?" Rio pleaded. Yoh agreed to this quest.

Anna's slumber party would start in a few days. He took a walk because he did his best thinking while walking. He saw Spongebob and Patrick arm wrestling. _Maybe I'll use a balloon as a prosthetic pelt, and her slumber party will have balloons, I'm sure._

"Hey, Patrick, any tips on how to infiltrate an all-girl slumber party? It's an emergency." Yoh begged.

"Well, you'll need a disguise," Patrick said.

"I don't like disguises. Sounds kinda dicey," Yoh stated. "Hey, why don't I get a sex change operation?" He headed over to the hospital.

A minute later, Spongebob and Patrick watched him storm out of the hospital. "THOSE DAMN NURSES WANT MONEY FOR SUCH PROCEDURE!" Yoh flamed.

"Don't worry, my homey dawg. I'll give you that sex change operation free of charge," Spongebob said optimistically. Yoh was escorted to the pineapple under the sea and Spongebob had Yoh lay down on the bed. He swung Gary in front of him like a hypnotist's pendulum. Yoh started getting sleepy, and Spongebob began doing the plastic surgery.

When Yoh awoke, he looked in the mirror. He looked like a woman.

"I'm ready, I'm ready," Yoh said in a manner exactly like Spongebob.

On the day of the slumber party, Yoh invaded his sister's slumber party. Among her other friends, he/she saw Pearl, Sandy, and... Lenny? What was he doing here?

"Oh, hi... What's your name? I ain't never seen you before," Anna said in a German accent.

"My name is Miss Zarves, and I came from the 19th story of Wayside school, which does not have a 19th story," Yoh lied. Anna nodded. He scanned the surroundings. He did not see any balloons. _Rats. Better go with plan B, whatever that is. _He listened to Sandy Cheeks talking about how Plankton ripped off her pelt to steal the Krabby Patty formula. Yoh had an idea. _Hey, I should rip off Sandy's pelt and put it on Rio so he can work at Kentucky Kingdom._

"I hate this song! I wanna listen to Evacuate the Dance Floor," one of Anna's friends complained.

"Sorry, but we're listening to Boom Boom Pow cuz Black Eyed Peas is awesome," Anna said defiantly. "It's my party."

"So I brought my Cascada CD for nothing?" her friend whimpered. Yoh grabbed the Cascada CD and put it in the stereo CD player. Everybody cheered. The large living room filled with euro-dance music. Even though the song was called Evacuate the Dance Floor, nobody did. Sandy was too busy dancing to notice Yoh, er, Miss Zarves sneak up behind her with a vacuum. He sucked up her body, leaving her pelt behind. He took the pelt with him and put it behind his back. He heard a Wilhelm scream.

"What's Lenny doing here? He's a boy. He's not a girl," Pearl asked, surprised.

"He was my high school sweetheart. I gave him permission," Anna explained. Pearl walked over to Yoh/Miss Zarves with a friendship bracelet in her hand. The ground trembled under her.

"Pearl, you're so fat, your weight is OVER 9000," Yoh/Miss Zarves said.

"Oh yeah? Yo momma is so fat, she was what caused the earthquake in Chile," Pearl shot back.

"Yo momma is so fat, she bungee-jumped off the bridge, and brought the bridge down with her."

"The last time that was funny, I laughed so hard, I fell off my dinosaur. Speaking of which, yo momma is so old, when she learned to drive, she had to get dinosaur insurance. Haha! Burn!" Yoh remembered about Rio.

"Gotta go, y'all!" he said while running out the door with Sandy's pelt.

"No! No, no, no, no, no! This pelt is too small and too hairy! Try again!" Rio shouted. Yoh felt a huge wave of disappointment. "But I hear there are wild cats living in the forest near here who fight."

Yoh went to the woods and sure enough, Rio was right. There was a muscular, flame colored cat on a ledge and rows of cats in front of him. "Scuse me," Yoh said. "I was wondering if you would like to be Rio's new pelt."

"Go ahead," said Firestar. "Take mine. I have 3 more lives anyway."

"You can take Millie's pelt, also," Graystripe added. "She rarely does anything important, and she's not Silverstream."

"This is ThunderClan territory, right? AWESOME!" Yoh bounced, then took and shaved the pelts of Firestar, Dovepaw, Lionblaze, Sandstorm, and Millie. He sewed them together and put them on Rio. He seemed in favor this time.

"Great. Just in time to be almost late for my Kentucky Kingdom job interview," Rio looked agitated. Morty was sitting there, playing with Barbies.

"Hey Morty, I'm Yoh!" After Yoh said that, Morty became so surprised that his eyes popped out enough to look like white face snakes. Spongebob and Rio were jump-roping with Morty's eyes.

Yoh went back to the slumber party. He saw Lenny getting tipsy while everyone was dancing to the ChaCha slide. He dragged Lenny out of the house and over to where Morty was, which I don't even know. He poked Morty's eye with Lenny's hair. Morty began deflating like a balloon, flying everywhere.

"Grab on, quick," Yoh panted. Rio grabbed on.

The flying Morty took them to Kentucky Kingdom in Louisville, Kentucky. Rio was dressed in a tank top and a mini skirt. He went to the job interview like that.

"Oh blimey! I just remembered, I'm missing Lizzie McGuire! And it's a new episode, too! Guess I'd better go meet her in person. She'll have to tell me what happ-"

"No! You can't! Don't you know that the website the author is submitting this story to doesn't allow real live people to be used as characters?" Morty scolded.

"You mean ?"

"Finish you sentence, dude," Morty said a few seconds later.

"What, I didn't say it? I swear it appeared on the word document," Yoh said.

"True, but this site does not allow URLs in fanfics, so you said it wrong. But you're on the right track," Morty pointed out.

"I hate breaking the fourth wall," Yoh griped. "Man, I'm super hungry," Yoh moaned. He was in luck. There was a Krusty Krab nearby. Or did he want to get something to eat inside Kentucky Kingdom? Being 1999, all the good rides that are gone now were still up, back when they actually cared about making it a fun place and not about making the water park over 9000 (Chang, Rainbow, Quake, Vampire, and even Hellevator were there. Hellevator had not cut anyone's feet off yet. Ah, the memories).

Yoh went through the front gates and ordered a $500 hamburger with his credit card. _Man, the food at theme parks sure is expensive, _he thought. _I should have gone to Krusty Krab. This costs more than a friggin Nintendo Wii. _He gobbled down his burger that was the size of a White Castle burger and got in line for Chang. He saw Spongebob and Patrick in line.

"Hey, Spongebob, I thought you was supposed to be at work. Why aren't you?" Yoh inquired.

"Mr. Krabs can go to hell! I hate Krabby Patties! They're heart attacks on buns!" Spongebob pouted. "I hate work. I'd rather be at Kentucky Kingdom, riding everything all day!"

Rio was done with his job interview. Now he had to play the waiting game. _Where's Yoh? _He spotted a blonde girl jogging to the Kentucky Kingdom gates. He thought she looked familiar.

"Hilary Duff?" Rio said, surprised.

"Who the Sam Heck is Hilary Duff? I'm Lizzie McGuire. I don't know who you talkin bout, boi! You crazy, boi!" Lizzie said harshly. "I am a ride warrior." Rio walked into the Krusty Krab. A surprising figure was working there. It was Horohoro, with a spirit resembling his old Calculus book accompanying him. He was filling in for Squidward. Rio ordered a Krabby Patty. Mr. Krabs narrowed his eyes.

"Soon my Krusty Krab will destroy the nation's economy, and I'll start with Kentucky Kingdom cause it's taking away my customers," Krabs said, barely audible. Krusty Krab dialed a number on his cell. "Plankton. I need you to replace all of Kentucky Kingdom's food with healthy school cafeteria food."

After Rio finished his Krabby Patty, he saw large crowds running out of the park's front gates.

"They serve nuthin but school cafeteria food. They changed it, now it sucks!" He saw Yoh and Spongebob.

"Chang was a lot of fun, but the food sucks now," Yoh complained. The only person who was still in the park was Lizzie McGuire. She ordered a square pizza and some fruit cocktail.

Horohoro felt like he was being used. _I should use my leet math skills to build an army of roller coasters to regain the crowd. After all, my Calculus book is the creator of the universe. _It's true. Earlier this school year, Horohoro had received a special Calculus book. It had a sacred scripture inside that alerted the buyer that it created the universe and the buyer is granted special powers for being the one. You'll soon see.

A few days later, Rio came with exciting news.

"I got the job! I will be working as a ride operator for Thunder Run." When he was about to start his first day of work, he was shocked at the padlocked gates. The park was closed. There was a sign that said, 'Closed forever. You win, Krabs. You and your precious Crappy Patties.'

"Now where else in this town will I eat healthy food? NOWHERE!" Lizzie cried. "I should move to Utah, the health capital of the world."

"I know things are gonna turn out to be all right." Yoh stated. "I'll find a way to save the day cause one ride on Chang isn't enough." He began to wish that he never remembered that he and Anna were kin, and that they had eloped. _There's got to be a way to undo my kinship. Hmmm._

"No, I'LL save the day," Horohoro said defiantly. "You're not saving the day, I am. I checked the Shaman King archive and there was a story called 'Shaman Squarepants' by StupidSequel and the summary states that I'll be the one to save the day." It's true. I did put that in the summary.

"Anyway, be right back, y'all. I gotta check something," Yoh said.

He ran back home, passing a lake with four territories of cats by it, and checked the dictionary. According to the dictionary, 'kin- being genetically related to someone else.'

He headed to the hospital with Amidamaru.

"I'd like a DNA transplant, and my spirit is my client," he told the receptionist.

"If it works, you two will be the world's first pair to undergo a DNA transplant," she told them. Once again Yoh was under the knife. When he woke up, he had Amidamaru's DNA and Amidamaru had Yoh's DNA. According to the dictionary, since Yoh no longer had any trace of Anna's DNA in him, they were no longer kin, and thus they could elope. Spongebob made Yoh look like Yoh again afterward, not Miss Zarves.

Back at Kentucky Kingdom, Horohoro got to work, designing a whole bunch of roller coasters, more than Six Flags Magic Mountain and Cedar Point combined. They somehow all fit within the small amusement park. The Krusty Krab then disappeared after he installed the final roller coaster.

"This is sprite memory overload, y'all," Horohoro spoke to the camera. "In video games and ROM hacks, when there are too many sprites onscreen, some of them will disappear due to limited memory. This is the basic principle behind what I just did." Krabs was ruined now. Spongebob didn't care. He always hated his job of being a fry cook.

So Yoh and Anna finally got married (explaining the DNA transplant was sorta awkward) and had their honeymoon at Kentucky Kingdom, forever free from the evil clutches of the Krusty Krab.

"The economy is gonna go bad again anyway in 2008, so if we still had the Krusty Krab here, it would be a nice little warm-up," Yoh commented. They rode all the roller coasters. Rio checked their lap bars on Thunder Run.

When he got back home, he researched his genealogy out of curiosity. What he saw horrified the heck out of him. Amidamaru was his great great grandfather!


End file.
